"Bill for Europe" - this is the title of a satirical text on the financial situation in Europe published by
former Swiss National Councillor and Bernese Grand Councillor Thomas Fuchs in the newspaper DIE IDEE.
Ten men - a Greek, an Italian, a Frenchman, a Portuguese, a Spaniard, a Cypriot, a Finn, an Austrian, a
Dutchman and a German - meet regularly for dinner.
That was the case again last week.
The bill for all of them together was exactly €500, as they were very happy to dine at a high level.
The guests paid their bill - just like we paid our taxes - and it looked something like this:
Four guests (the Greek, the Portuguese, the Spanish and the Italian) paid nothing.
The Cypriot paid €1. The Frenchman paid €5. The Austrian paid €50. The Finn €80. The Dutchman paid €100.
The tenth (the German) paid €264.
This had been going on for quite a while.
They met again and again for meals.
Everyone was happy until the landlord caused disruption to the arrangement when he
suggested reducing the price of the meal by €50.
"Because you are all such good guests!"
How nice of him! Now the meal for the ten only cost €450.
The group was determined to continue paying in the same way as before.
Nothing changed for the first four, they continued to eat for free.
But what about the other six?
How could they divide up the €50 savings so that everyone got something out of it?
The six quickly realized that €50 divided by six payers equals €8.33.
But if they deducted that from the individual portions, the fifth and sixth guests would
still get money for going to dinner at all.
So the landlord suggested to the guests that everyone should pay roughly the same percentage less as their total contribution.
So he sat down and started to work it out for his guests.
The result was as follows: The Cypriot, as well as the first four, paid nothing from now on (100% savings).
The Frenchman paid €3 instead of €5 (40% saving).
The Austrian paid €45 instead of €50 (10% saving).
The Finn paid €72 instead of €80 (10% saving).
The Dutchman paid €90 instead of €100 (10% saving).
The German paid €239 instead of €264 (11% saving).
Each of the six got off cheaper with this solution than before and the first four still ate for free.
But when they did the math before the economy, it wasn't as ideal as they thought.
"I only got €2 of the €50!" said the Frenchman, pointing at the German, "but he gets €25!"
"That's right!" exclaimed the Cypriot, "I only saved 1 euro and he saved more than twenty times as much as me."
"How true!" exclaimed the Austrian, "why does he get €25 back and I only get €5?
Once again, the rich Germans get everything!"
"Wait a minute," exclaimed the Greek, the Portuguese, the Spaniard and the Italian, "we didn't get anything.
The system exploits the poorest!"
As if out of the blue, the nine of them attacked the German together and beat him up.
The next evening, the German didn't show up for dinner.
So the other nine sat down together and ate without him.
But when it was time to pay the bill , they noticed something extraordinary:
All together they didn't have enough money to pay even half of the bill!
And if they didn't starve to death, they're still wondering today.
EUROPA is that simple!