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Hello! Is this Giovanni's pizza service?
No, this is Google's pizza service.
Sorry, I guess I got the wrong number...?
No, Google bought the number.
Okay, then I'd like to....
You want the usual?
The usual? How do you know that?
According to our records of the last twelve calls, you ordered pizza with cheese, salami and thick crust.
Okay, that's exactly what I want!
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, rucola and dried tomatoes?
No, I hate vegetables!
But your cholesterol isn't good.
How can you know that?
From your health profile. We have the results of your blood counts for the last seven years.
Okay, but I don't want this pizza. I've already taken my medicine.
You have not taken your medicine regularly. Four months ago, you bought a box of 30 tablets online from the Sunstore mail-order pharmacy.
I've been shopping at another pharmacy.
But that's not charged to your credit card.
I paid cash.
According to your bank account, you did not withdraw enough cash.
I have also other sources of money.
This is not apparent from your last tax return, so it is undeclared income.
TO HELL WITH THEM! Enough! I am sick and tired of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and the like. I will go to an island without Internet, without telephone and where nobody can spy on me.
I understand, but first you'll have to renew your passport. It expired five years ago...
23.03.2020
Hello! Is this Giovanni's pizza service? No, this is Google's pizza service. Sorry, I guess I got the wrong number...? No, Google bought the number. Okay, then I'd like to.... You want the usual? The usual? How do you know that? According to our records of the last twelve calls, you ordered pizza with cheese, salami and thick crust. Okay, that's exactly what I want! May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, rucola and dried tomatoes? No, I hate vegetables! But your cholesterol isn't good. How can you know that? From your health profile. We have the results of your blood counts for the last seven years. Okay, but I don't want this pizza. I've already taken my medicine. You have not taken your medicine regularly. Four months ago, you bought a box of 30 tablets online from the Sunstore mail-order pharmacy. I've been shopping at another pharmacy. But that's not charged to your credit card. I paid cash. According to your bank account, you did not withdraw enough cash. I have also other sources of money. This is not apparent from your last tax return, so it is undeclared income. TO HELL WITH THEM! Enough! I am sick and tired of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and the like. I will go to an island without Internet, without telephone and where nobody can spy on me. I understand, but first you'll have to renew your passport. It expired five years ago...
from sl.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqdu6tWZcmw
http://luigibenetton.com/2017/11/20/google-pizza-satire/